contributing well in relationships.

 

We all know how to do that, right? As tamariki, we observe the relationships around us, between people, people and the natural environment, interactions in nature, how people treat themselves etc. and as we grow older we begin to form the foundations of what we want, like and don’t like, and what we’ll tolerate, or not and we carve it all on the relationship pou (pillar) of our whare (house).

What does that pou look like for you?

What story do the designs say about your expectations and standards in a relationship? How do you role model that with your relationship with yourself? What example are you setting for how others should engage and interact with you? How do you contribute well to the relationships in your life? Let’s let that simmer in the back of our minds while we continue…

There’s a quote I really like which goes like this, “if you’re helping someone more than they’re helping themselves - you’re not helping them.” This struck home for me at that point in time, because I’m sure we can all agree (at least most of the time), that we just want to help others. Whether they be our whānau (family), friends, strangers even - we want to help if we’re able to. But sometimes we can help people more than they’re helping themselves,

we can make ourselves responsible for ‘fixing’, saving or healing them.

Side note: I’m pretty sure someone’s just come to mind as you read that… but anyway… how do we create the space that instead of saving our people, we must grow our people and empower them to be self-determining and create their own opportunities.

Just my thoughts, tēnā tātou

Hana.

 
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faith in the process: will you endure the short term suffering for the long term vision?

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Where have your expectations of what a relationship should be like, come from?