what would you say to the 2016 version of you?

“You poor, naive underdeveloped mind, why did you write that post, why did you do that thing…” haha I’m only playing but I’m referring specifically to one of the earliest blog posts, with a title that was something like ‘feeling hōhā? blame Whiro.’ Thanks for the reminder, Facebook.

I couldn’t bring myself to click the link and actually read the piece because the headline was painful enough. But the level of cringe and wanting for Papatuanuku to swallow me up was at an all time high.

Oh and I’m 1000% sure that’s not the only sentence in the blog that would evoke that kind of reaction. I’ve sifted through many a blog post and found myself shaking my head and making a face “I’d better be careful not to keep, else the wind changed direction and it was stuck like that forever.”

If you listen to the audio versions of the blogs on Spotify or Apple Podcast, you’d know there’ve been so many of them that I’ve wanted to circle back to and edit/update because I know better now.

But what’s the point?

What’s the point in sharing my perspective or how I felt about a thing, or what was important to me at that specific point in time in the first place, if I’m just going to go back and edit over with the gift of hindsight?

For one, I’d get stuck in a continuous loop due to going back all the time, so I wouldn't make much traction in any other areas of my life. And even then, what’s the point? To try keep a polished track record have a post from November 2017 sound the same as November 2021?! That makes me cringe even more to be quite honest.

I didn’t know I’d be writing the blog every week for five years. I didn’t know there’s be almost 250 weekly insights into my state of mind, what I was thinking, what was important to me, how I felt about whatever it was or how I interpreted and applied tupuna mātauranga to my life.

I would HOPE that reading back on some of those works makes me cringe, otherwise where’s the growth?! Disclaimer: there are some that blow my mind and I’m sooo impressed with haha there are some that I’m neither here nor there about and there are some that I would be happy to not ever see or come across again. But each of them equally as important to my growth and development.

As a person, a writer, a blogger if you will lol, how I think, how I analyse information and how I repurpose that into something that I hope in one way, shape or form — has value for someone else.

So what I would actually say to Hana of 2016 is,

you’re doing fine.

Post the thing, share your ideas, express what and how you want to express. Half of it’s probably going to be trash but so what? That’s not a criticism, it just is.

It’s part of the process.

You’re creating, you’re growing, you’re making yourself vulnerable sharing this piece of you with the world — and because in your heart you know it’s a good thing, the lessons (and ooooh baby girl, there will be many of them. whatever’s in your mind right now, x10000000) the lessons will stick and they’ll challenge you to check yourself and expand your perspective.

They’ll hurt and sting because it means something to you and you wanna do it justice and in sharing your thing, you welcome other perspectives and feedback leading to a better/more effective/compassionate/different understanding than what you’d ever had if you kept it to yourself…

Mmm, I probably wouldn’t say all that because 2016 Hana has less tolerance for unsolicited advice as 2021 Hana haha because, when? When did I ask…

Instead I’d say ‘you’re doing fine. I’m proud of you.’ All the while in subtext saying, you have NO idea.. your mind cannot comprehend where what you’re doing now is going to take you and what this path is going to reveal to you. About the world, and about yourself, everything. Love your work.’

So let me ask you again, what would you say to the 2016 version of you?*

Tēnā tātou,

Hana.

*Pick any year, any time. and even go a step further to ask, what would they have wanted to hear? And send them all the love you can give.

PS. if you can guess what year the pic for this post is from, I’ll send you a copy of the book (guess the month too and I’ll add the cards in as well!)