you ever feel like the world is against you?

Like when you were growing up (or still as an adult) and your parents wouldn't let you do things or they'd make you do things... when you just “can't catch a break” or when the whole universe is conspiring against you... 

Counterintuitive and invalid since we're the universe expressing itself simultaneously.... buuuuuut you know what I'm talking about, right?

“You against the world??”

Tūmatauenga felt the very same way; when his brothers shied away from standing up to Tāwhirimātea after he went Super Saiyan on them all, when Ranginui (sky father) and Papatuanuku (Mother Earth) were separated.

“After taking care of Tāwhiri, Tū shifted his focus onto his brothers; he felt betrayed and went about seeking utu (revenge).” Te Whakarewarewa, Rotorua, 2015

After taking care of Tāwhiri, Tū shifted his focus onto his brothers; he felt betrayed and went about seeking utu (revenge). As a result, he went to where his brothers sought shelter and claimed retribution; Tūmatauenga went to the sea and caught Tangaroa's tamariki (children); the sea creatures, he set up snares in the forest to capture Tāne Mahuta's offspring, dug up Haumiatiketike and Rongomātāne's descendants and ate them all.

With that in mind, and the fact that the atua (deities, elemental forces) are within us, therefore are us and we're them....

what do you do when you feel betrayed, like it's you against the world?

Personally? Well for starters, I'm not an angry person. I'm empathetic and understanding (most of the time), so I can almost always put myself in the other person's shoes and see why they did what they did. It's not my style to act out so aggressively, in the way Tūmatauenga did.

But I have felt lonely before. Like I've been betrayed and left all on my own.

The most recent was when my dad passed away. I felt many emotions but man, for a long time, I was so angry at him for leaving. He's always with me, I know that, but you get it.. 

"He's always with me, I know that, but you get it.. " My 21st, Rotorua, 2013

I was confused, I was hurt, I was sad, I was angry, I felt abandoned and betrayed; like Tūmatauenga.  Oblivious to me at the time, but I hurt some of the people close to me by leaving shortly after the tangi (funeral) to Australia; like Tūmatauenga. I ate, obviously.. just like Tūmatauenga.

When I get upset; I shut down. Hana is closed for renovations to the outside world and I become quite selfish. I do what I need to do to take care of me, to feel what I need to feel and work through whatever it is. But in this instance when my dad passed away and what followed, I hurt people I care a lot about.

And moving forward, I don't wanna be like that, I don't want to hurt people I love and care about -

my healing or wellbeing shouldn't be a detriment to my whānau. 

I don't wanna be like Tūmatauenga...*

Our atua are great teachers; their interactions with each other are the perfect blueprint for how to live our lives. Not all the lessons are 'positive,' like creating Hineahuone = manifesting thought into matter, or Tāne retrieving the baskets of knowledge from the heavens = developing a growth mindset.

"So, us against the world? Naaaah cuz, us for the world, with the world - together." Hana Photography, 2017, Perth.

Sometimes our atua have other lessons to teach us, that can take us to uncomfortable places inside ourselves; like understanding our relationship with Whiro and why he's more present during specific times in our life. Like becoming aware that both Tūmatauenga and Tāwhiri could have handled their frustrations a little differently..

Why's it important? If we can become aware of what we do in situations where we feel upset, angry, abandoned or betrayed; if it's causing harm to us or others (spiritually, physically, mentally etc.) - we can change it!

So, us against the world? Naaaah cuz, us for the world, with the world - together.

Ngā mihi,

Hana

 

*I don't want to be like Tūmatauenga in this example only; feeling pain and causing pain to others.