comfort is a nice place, but nothing ever grows there..

This is one of my favourite quotes or affirmations to myself when I’m going through the low/dark/challenging/confronting part of the cycle, as a way to convince myself this space I’m in is a good thing.. something I need to embrace and invite into my life.. ‘coz I’m all about that growth.. most of the time haha nah all the time, all the time, but sometimes it feels impossible to get through whatever the thing is.

In the same way that our muscles must tear, like literally break and heal together again to grow and get bigger, so do our spiritual, mental, emotional, psychological, *invisible* muscles.

and boy is that pain sore!

First up there’s needs to be a willingness to confront ourselves about ourselves.. our behaviour, habits, actions, the environments we’re exposing ourselves to, our relationships etc. and if we’ve been slacking or doing things that have a negative impact on us, the people around us or the kaupapa we’re apart of, this part of the process usually isn’t a fun time.

IF you’re doing it right, if you’re being totally honest with yourself, it’s uncomfortable, it’s awkward, it’s humbling.. it’s the death of parts of you so that something new, more refined, wise (hopefully lol) and grounded can be birthed and grow in its place.

“Maybe when you feel like you’ve been overwhelmed by the weight and pressures of life, it feels like you’ve been buried.. but maybe, you’ve been planted instead”

Another quote/affirmation to remind me that whatever challenges come my way are providing the conditions for me to grow, learn, die (metaphorically) and rebirth, redefine myself again.

I’m so glad we' covered Mahuika (atua of fire) last cycle to concentrate the thinking around reinterpreting pūrākau (stories) and pretty much everything. It’s set the foundation for our kōrero about Hinenuitepō (atua of death, darkness), how just in these past two weeks, I no longer only associate Hinenuitepō with tangihanga (funerals) or someone/something physically dying — which I’ve done my whooooole life.

This new perspective of how I can engage or embody Hinenuitepō has made the current headspace I’m in (figuring out my role in the world and what direction I can head in that will have the most impact etc.) feel a lot more natural.. if that makes sense.

Things die out in the taiao (nature) all the time! Plants, animals, creatures, heck the day disappears when Tamanui sets and a new day is born when he rises again. So of course, the ecosystem of thoughts, values, beliefs, perspectives, meaning etc. we’ve created in our minds go through similar cycles of birth, life, death and rebirth once again.

And we must work the area regularly to keep it vibrant and healthy. The work is eradicating and protecting against the pests, pruning the branches that grow too wild, sowing new seeds for new life and opportunities to grow… now translate whatever ngahere (forest) you might be visualising right now and replace it with your habits, behaviours, beliefs and all the rest about yourself, the world and your place in it.

It’s not the most comfortable place to be in, but that is where you grow.

Kia kakama,

Hana.