the course correction
Story time. A couple years ago, I was on a particular pathway… equiped with my set of beliefs about who I was and the big important mission I was here to serve.. ughhhhh I’m having a hard time trying not to cringe as I take this trip down memory lane, but it gives context to our kōrero, so don’t mind me… anything for the kaupapa (cause). So anyway, on my path to pursue high performance sport, I got injured. I tore ligament from bone in my shoulder and actually, this is a fitting analogy for how my idea of self got ripped from my reality.
My sense of self-worth, my sense of identity — all of it, gone.
Or so I thought…
Little did I know (with the beauty of hindsight *rolls eyes* haha) it was the breaking of the confines of what I believed was possible.
Up until that moment, I had never really explored other paths. Never knew I had to. Never thought exploring other paths would interested me, let alone have any value... but wholly heck, that path disappearing on me meant I found myself in uncharted territory. Up until that moment, I had my normal, I knew what was up what was down. I was good. Lol, yeah right.
The very same beliefs that were reinforced over time; by my environment, by people around me, by experiences etc. to lead me along this pathway where I developed in certain areas, also limited me in others. It cut me off from exploring what else there was to me. Easy to see now of course, but at the time I’d give anything to have my old normal back. Once I adjusted to the unknown, the unfamiliar, the uncertain that was my new normal,
curiosity started to take root.
What else was there to me beyond my athletic ability? Did I have more to offer? If not, then why am I still here? Who am I without my sport?
These and similar questions slowly flooded my mind and so the exploration into my own self began… just like how te ira atua began their exploration of their new normal, like our tupuna explored the whole world, like whakapapa in action.
So it’s fair to say that my shoulder injury from a few years ago served as a ‘course correction’ to help guide me back to myself — exactly where I needed to go, to become who I am today.
Nāku noa,
Hana.