don't leave things unchecked: if there's a problem, address it.

Like I mentioned in the rest previous post, these later/newer pūrākau kōrero (stories) are trickier to interrogate and find deeper pockets of metaphor and wisdom to mull over. But the goods are there if you persist and get creative on your quest! Take your pick on pūrākau that reiterate that message.*

I wanna switch it up a little bit this week and look at this story from a practical perspective; Ruaeo was wronged by Tamatekapua, he addressed it and that was that. Yeahhhh he beat him up, messed up the sky for a bit and a few other things but essentially, the bro had a problem and set a course to reinstate balance and make things right (utu).

When problems arise in your life, how do you handle them?

Let me guess, ‘depends on the context’? haha I know, I know.. I’m the same and it does — but still….. then what? Do you address the problem? Address the symptoms maybe and focus all your energy there? Run away from it? Add fuel to it and make it worse? Suppress and ignore? Blame it on someone or something else? Or something else I haven’t added in here?

Personally, I used to hate conflict! It’s not like I welcome it and relish when problems occur lol but when conflicts unfold now, I reckon I have a healthier relationship with it now.

Conflict doesn’t automatically equate to bad.

Conflict is inevitable. When differing perspectives, beliefs and expectations meet, there’s sure to be disagreement and problems arise. But beyond that comes expanded and deepened understanding, compassion and insight. Conflict allows for growth.

That’s what I think now, but I used to avoid it at all costs and play down any hints of a problem, always. Must’ve been the people-pleaser in me? “Keep the peace, Hana,” “you’re just making it bigger than what it is,” “what’s the actual problem though… don’t say it’s something when you don’t know for sure” were some of the thoughts that popped into my head.

Externally, things appeared sweet as. All good. But on the inside, I was twisting myself sideways, inside out trying to wrestle with the issue and process it. Which did nobody any good because the things I didn’t understand and got upset at, the problems and conflicts I was carrying continued on, unaddressed. I’m getting better at it and sometimes I tear up and cry because it’s an uncomfortable space to bring attention to something bad, hurtful or upsetting —

but you can only fix and heal a problem if you know it exists. only if you bring it into the light.

Darkness is part of our whakapapa (genealogy), and so is the light. But remember which comes first and makes way for the other…

There are ways to go about addressing issues and approaching conflict, which do depend on the context haha but the constant is not to leave things unchecked: if there's a problem, address it. Reinstate the balance, whatever that looks like for you in your life and grow from the experience.

Tēnā tātou,

Hana.

*Tāne switching positions to separate Ranginui and Papatuanuku (heaven and earth),