when it feels like you’re in a phase of growth that just won’t end

 

It’s been an interesting last few months. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve thought to myself “I got this”, then pretty much just as that thought leaves my mind, I find myself in a situation that lets me know how much I don’t “got this.”

Being naturally self-assured has its ups, but in moments like these - they’re humbling to say the least. Ha it’s all learning, growing, expanding the perspective, considering alternative ways of doing, being, giving and having - which I know is good, valuable and ‘the goal’ and all that.. but really looking forward to when this phase of continuous growth eases up a little bit and Te Pō (darkness/challenges, uncertainty) shifts a little closer to Te Ao Mārama (world of light).

There are over seventy phases of Te Kore (potential, formless, thought) which evolve into the seventy+ phases of Te Pō and I am feeling every. single. one. of those phases lately.. well it feels like it anyway, as I find myself in situations of

wai ka hua, wai ka tohu,

to sink or swim, to level up or nah that’s the only option haha level up. As the creation story describes, darkness and adversity always come before the light, in fact what happens during the phases of Te Kore and Te Pō is necessary to build the capacity in us for what’s to come.

Sometimes I feel like I haven’t recovered from, or processed the initial growing pains and lessons from the experience when the next catalyst for growth is activated which triggers more growth, more pains, not enough rest.. more growth, more pains, not enough rest etc.

until the eventual burnout because I can’t restore my energy fast enough amongst all the growth…

Important to note that this is just an observation of my current/recent situation and I’m not complaining - at all. I’m grateful for the challenges, the growth, the situations I find myself in that demand more from me, that allow me to try and fail and figure out a way to make it happen…

I can be grateful for it because I know, that even though it feels like you’re in a phase of growth that just won’t end - it’ll pass eventually, the light will come, the phases of Te Pō will end and the light will come.

It’s in our whakapapa (DNA), which means is preordained.

And since I’m also whakapapa (in action) and my being here has been 10000 years in the making, I have complete trust that these phases will ultimately lead to breaking through the challenges and rising to the occasion - whatever I decide them to be.

Kia kaha tātou,

Hana.

 
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