do you actually know why you feel the way you do?

 

Growing pains in the last couple weeks have been ridiiiiiiiculous. Good. Learning heaps and highkey loving it but far out, the dignity has taken a beating. Here I was pursuing excellence and striving for better - as a person and in what I did, ha or so I thought… What I thought was excellence, or at least a good operating level to be at - now, feels more like a 4/10…

what (and I can’t emphasise this enough) the Whakatāne?!@#%

Yeah cool, let’s start all over again and unlearn all these redundant habits and behaviours that don’t wanna work anymore because although they’ve got me this far in life, they won’t get me any further. Cool, cool. Feeling uncomfortable, vulnerable and exposed and highkey freaking out about it too but growth is good, being comfortable in discomfort and #growthgamesstrong is the goal right?

Hahahahainserteyerollherehahaha.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about growth and when it’s self-initiated and ‘controlled’ and just enough growth to make a difference but not so much that it’s too confronting - it’s easy. Lol it’s not easy, but you’re more likely to welcome it. But hoooohhhhhh when it challenges you on a deeper level and exposes all your shortcomings, inefficiencies and areas you suck at for others to see, haha jooookes you know what? this comfort zone is actually quite nice now I think about it…

but nothing ever grows there…

Let’s pause for a second. Have you ever felt like that before? Exposed, vulnerable or uncomfortable? Have you ever taken the time to sit with those feelings and try to understand where they come from? What their whakapapa is? Why you feel that way?

I have, multiple times - but the more I do, the more I start to notice how the whakapapa of those feelings/thoughts affects what I do next… for example, y’all ever get weird/creepy vibes from certain people or places? That tends to make you feel uncomfortable, right? But that’s a totally different discomfort to when you’re challenging your old identity; old habits, behaviours and beliefs…. Which brings us back to the title of this post,

do you actually know why you feel the way you do?

I mean, te ira atua were growing restless, frustrated and disgruntled before Uepoto discovered space and an alternative reality - due to limited space for some of them, between Ranginui (Sky Father) and Papatūānuku (Mother Earth). But after the discovery, there was a new stimulus. Same feeling, different whakapapa (origins, process).

And with a different whakapapa, comes a different outcome. So once you become aware of why you feel and think the way you do and how that influences what you do - you might have a different appreciation for discomfort because it could mean you’re growing and levelling up and your old identity is being challenged.

He whakaaro noa iho, just a thought…

Tēnā tātou,

Hana.

 
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