On our last night in Hawaii, we were down by the beach having a hākari (feast) and ngahau (celebrations) with our Polynesian whānau. Hina (the moon) caught my eye, as she usually does and I noticed she had a haze over her. But there was something else, something about her that puzzled me, like she was trying to tell me something. Compared to when I usually have my moment with the moon, it’s either in a trance of adoration, pure wonder and excitement that I get to witness such beauty, or a “chur, I see you” and I get on with whatever I was doing. Tonight was neither of those.
I kept watching her throughout the night and the haze didn’t dissipate. She was like a puzzle I was trying to figure out. Why’s she still hazy? Why’s she looking at me like that?
then it hit me.
Well, this is what I interpreted anyway and could very well not be what the environment was trying to communicate with me lol but it’s what I got, so that’s what we’ve got… the moon is always there. Obviously the moon is always there but what I mean is, no matter how much of the moon we can or can’t see, no matter that we can only see the parts where Tamanui/the light hits such as Ōuenuku or Ōkoro (phase she was in that night); she’s always there.
Considering the phase I’m in at the moment; recovering, replenishing, refining my systems etc. and processing what I’ve learned and accumulated over the last few months, compared to my usual “doing”, grinding and giving my all to kaupapa, being output-heavy with little to no input going back in - this is super significant. I’m slowly unlearning the programming that I’ve been conditioned to believe it’s all about output and performance.
— hard to produce anything if there’s nothing to work with.
Since finishing the book and not really knowing on what to do next, I’ve put more of my time into implementing and refining my systems and processes and how to be more efficient and effective but with a feeling that I could be doing more. More of what though?! How do you do more when you don’t even know what that’s supposed to be?!! That moment with the moon my last night in Hawaii though reaffirmed that like Hina, I’ll move into a phase to execute and perform soon enough, but until then - it’s time to prepare, to learn, to unlearn, to refine, to experiment, to heal so that I can shine bright, like Rākaunui, when the time is right.
“Different phases for different phases”
Who’d’ve thought we’d gain so much wisdom by observing our natural environment? Our tupuna (ancestors), that’s who.