It's always an interesting time observing the different thoughts flowing through my mind, particularly now since I've started covering Ranginui (Sky Father) during this atua (god, elemental force) blog series. Focusing on the atua and manifestation of the mind, intellect and knowledge, I've felt my own whakaaro (thoughts) and observations shift and flow in a different current lately. Whether or not that's a good thing, the jury's still out haha but here's one realisation I've learned about myself.
I'm moving into a different phase of my life. In a few short weeks, my baby will be in Te Ao Mārama (world of light, physical world). I'm talking about my book, by the way... I've been working on it for the past four months, sharing the process, preparing the launch which is all fun and exciting. But as the launch and publish date have crept nearer,
I've felt myself become more reluctant to share the process and even finish writing the chapters.
Probably due to the fatigue of relocating back from Perth and settling into a new routine and new mahi (work), but the kōrero iti, the negative self-talk has crept in and I accepted, I was scared. What if I finish the book, I've hyped it all up and shared the journey - and it sucks? What if people think it's useless and it's all been a waste of time.
What if I'm like the atua stuck between Ranginui and Papatuanuku (Mother Earth) during Te Pō, before they were separated by Tāne, cramped and unable to stretch out properly. What if the sky really is the limit and I've hit it already, unable to go any further?
You only need to continue with the creation story to see that's not how the story ends. That the limits can always be pushed and pushed if the determination and resourcefulness is there.
The sky might be the limit?
But that doesn't mean we can't push it further away if we've outgrown it.