love is good, but love me right
The past few months have been about me getting back to me. I’d lost myself in the busyness of the last 18 months so I started wrapping up, withdrawing from and declining kaupapa, commitments, relationships and activities that don’t align to the mission I’m here to serve.. which I’m still developing every day btw and is based off what I’m good at, what I like and what I want to do. Anyway…
I’ve been filling that newfound space with the solo wānanga by myself, gooooood good quality time and space with my favourite people, getting out in the taiao, training consistently again and taking care of what needs to be taken care of (last post) in the ways that work for me.
‘love is good. but love me right’
- Shontelle Stowers
We each have different whakapapa (genealogy) which means our genes get activated by different stimuli in different environments in different ways.. add to that, our different experiences, perspectives values and all the rest and it should become clear that ‘self-love’ or any kind of love we give or receive will look and feel different.
I shared a post yesterday by kōkā Jada, about having the courage to say what you need in the moment because most people aren’t mind readers,
‘you’ll either get what you need, or realise that the source you are asking doesn’t have the capacity to deliver. both are gifts’
Have you developed the courage to ask yourself what you want or what you need to be the best you you can be? Do you need more discipline, help with a plan, support, someone to be accountable to, quiet time, different environments, more/less time with certain people, a change of lifestyle etc. take a moment now actually to think about that.. what do you need from yourself in this moment, in this space you’re in?
Love is good. Love is warm, light, nurturing, good… but it’s also firm and strict when need be. It’s what can fuel us to keep fighting for something/someone, or it could be what requires us to step back and give space.. There’s no one size fits all and just like with the taiao, the only constant is change, so there will be
different phases for different phases.
We need to be courageous (and honest) enough to ask ourselves what we want, what we need, then take action accordingly. *Always has to be self-generated, self-filling puna (pool) first before external sources supplement what’s already there. Then we must also be courageous about sharing our wants and needs with our people — so they might learn how to love us right too.
In the ways that we need, that help get the most out of us, so we can go out and live our mission, serve the kaupapa we’re here to serve and make our tupuna’s (ancestors) wildest dreams a reality. And if those people don’t have the capacity to deliver, it is what it is.. that’s not on them, that’s on us and it’s part of our journey to figure that part of it out.
It’s a process and what’s meant for us will never miss us, even if we can’t see it all, know that everything will unfold as it is meant to. Trust the process and be courageous, or work on developing it.
Tēnā tātou,
Hana.
*With all the cues we can take from our online, social media environment, and this blog post lol you may have put two and two together that something’s happened between Cass and I. We’re not together anymore but I’ll get into that in another post. Appreciate your love and tautoko x