When you get into the flow of understanding who you are, who you want to be, where you want to go, what you want to give, and why.. you begin to generate energy, momentum and conviction around what needs to be done to attain that.
You realise that you have to make changes so you can unbecome everything that isn’t you, that isn’t serving your purpose anymore - and become your true self, your best self.
You understand that you have to rise to serve the kaupapa (cause, mission), rather than downgrading the kaupapa to meet you at your current limitations.
You accept that you can only control what you can control - and how other people react to your new direction isn’t one of them.
Since I’ve started to make more intentional decisions about where I’m going, what I need to do to get there and what type of support I need - I’ve become less tolerant of myself when I slip up and do things I know I shouldn’t do, and of other people who don’t contribute to my mission.
It sounds pretty ruthless, and it is. For where I’m headed, clarity and discipline are the minimum cost for the ticket. This has meant some uncomfortable and difficult conversations with people I love and care a lot about.
When I have to have difficult conversations, I cry.
Tangaroa rages within me, like a tsunami crashing down. I feel the blood rushing around my body and the tears well up in my eyes. I move around awkwardly, I try to think of something happy, I pinch the skin between my thumb and index finger because Google said it stops you crying (Google lied).
And I always wondered why I did this, it used to really frustrate me until I realised that the tears were just the symptom - not the cause. Much like how a tsunami is the symptom of an earthquake on the ocean floor*, how Tangaroa is affected by Rūaumoko's (atua, earthquakes and volcanoes) haka.
After some long and annoying introspection, I traced back the cause to when I was younger; if I didn’t want to talk about something, I’d cry.
Conversation avoided. Win.
Over time, it became a habit; difficult conversation = tears. It worked as a kid, but as I grew up and found myself in situations where although the conversation was difficult - I wanted and needed to share my thoughts but the tears would flow to the rescue and I would hide behind them.
I wanted to be heard, I wanted people to know what I had to say - but I couldn’t do this if I kept crying all the time, if I let Tangaroa take over like that.
So, how do you survive a tsunami? You prepare for it, set a plan and go to higher ground.
How do you break old habits? You increase awareness of why they exist in the first place (prepare), create systems to mange them moving forward (plan), you execute and grow (higher ground).
How do you become the best version of yourself?
You get clear on where you are now and where you're going (prepare), you identify what you need to do, who you need to talk to, what you need to cut out of your life (plan) and you put the work in (higher ground).
Rise to serve the kaupapa, see you at the top.
*Volcanic eruptions, land earthquakes, meteor strikes and other land movements also cause tsunamis.