do the tides command the ship you’re sailing on, or do you?

An adaptation of a quote from one of my favourite shows in the world #IYKYK and if you don’t know, click the link above. More on that another time, we could also rephrase the title question into something like, “are you self-determining or is how you conduct yourself at the mercy of others/external circumstances?” but that doesn’t paint quite the same picture in your mind..

Just to get this clear early on, we’re shaped by our environment. That’s not the wānanga (dialogue, reflection) I’m trying to feed into. Just as Tangaroa, Hinemoana and Tāwhirimātea (atua, the tides, currents, oceans and winds) push and pull our waka (canoe) along on its journey.. just as seeing someone smile or happy often makes us smile.. just as scrolling through your socials feed and seeing something disturbing or upsetting can change your entire mood.

Our external environment affects us in some way, no surprises there.

If you really wanna break it down to a cellular level, we could get into epigenetics and how genes require signals from the taiao (environment) to inform them on what they should do.

Maybe another time, I digress….. let’s read the title again, ‘do the tides command the ship you’re sailing on, or do you?’ The tides may cause the ship to alter its course, or even cause damage to the waka (vessel) and those aboard it, but the ocean is only doing what oceans do — regardless of whether the ship is there or not. It’s up to those in command of it to navigate the waters and fulfil their mission.

Now consider your life as the waka.

What are the different oceans, storms, currents, territories, lagoons and whirlpools your waka has entered into? Got lost in? Got shipwrecked in? Bypassed altogether? Had smooth sailing? Threw the anchor down to recuperate for a while in?

Was your external environment (circumstances, relationships, media etc.) in command your life, or were you?

Over the last couple weeks, a surge of repressed thoughts and feels made their way up to the surface and started spinning, dancing around each other until a whirlpool started to form and started to pull me into it with the main thought process being, I didn’t deserve the life I had.

The people, the connections, the opportunities, the time, the space, the love… my thoughts were trying to tell me I wasn’t worthy of any of it. And weird because I knew that wasn’t true.. but the thoughts and feels just wouldn’t go away. The whirlpool was only just getting started and its bro, a category 10000 storm, just pulled up.

I sat in the storm of those kinds of thoughts and feelings for a while to try and understand their whakapapa (why they were bugging me, where they came from etc.) and hollllyyyyyy heck was it uncomfortable..

but in that discomfort I started to see a pattern appear and lead me to the source.

With that understanding, next thing you know, the whirlpool dissipates, the storm recedes, Tamanui (the sun) shines through and the waka is back on course.

Or should I say, I took command of the ship and navigated the waters the best way I knew how to, and I’m back on course and I feel more in tune with myself than before. I feel better for entering the storm that rages in my mind and heart, weathering what came up and riding it out..

So once again I’ll ask, ‘do the tides command the ship you’re sailing on, or do you?’ Are you playing in familiar tides, avoiding all storms and rough seas? Are you game to enter into uncharted waters into the storm of your own mind and delve deeper into understanding who you are, why you are the way you are and more?

Just remember,

“A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”

— John Augustus Shedd

Tēnā tātou,

Hana.