we're wired for survival, sometimes that gets in the way

Our brain is incredible. Amongst other things, it’s designed to solve problems related to surviving and to avoid what might cause us harm. Pretty sweet, right? That function in our tupuna’s (ancestor’s) brains contributed to us being here today, so we owe our lives to it. But this design can also be it’s/our downfall. Let’s walk…

Think of your phone or any device when you first got it. Fresh out the box, ready to do the things you needed it to do. But even before you turned it on, it was preloaded with apps and default settings, right? We’re the same.. well, kind of.

We establish habits over time and when that happens, our brains stop participating in decision making and they become automatic. Typically, that’s why we don’t have to consciously decide to breathe. Holy heck, I wouldn’t even know where to start on telling my body how to do what it does so I can get the air in and out of my lungs.. let alone how to get the goods into the bloodstream and cells and wherever else they need to go. It just happens?!

So habits are great, they’re efficient, they free up time and space for us to focus on other things…

but they can also get in the way.

Just think real quick, how are your…. eating habits, exercise habits, sleeping habits, or take a step back and ask what tendencies do you have when it comes to relationships? Same partner, different people? What about with experiences or with your mahi? What do you constantly, consistently do? How’s your self-talk? Is there a pattern emerging? If you feel attacked, same haha but hey, there have been more confronting questions in past blog posts I’m sure haha and anyway, it’s the work we’re here to do. I got you. Now, where were we…

Unlike our phones, it’s not as simple as flipping the switch and boom *new habit*. There’s a bit more to it.. take food for example. Beyond the physical food item or meal, it has cultural and spiritual significance, direct whakapapa (genealogical links) and emotional connections as well. So there’s all of that to consider when it comes to understanding habits, how they unfold in our lives and how to change them.

Let’s revisit the question earlier about the habits in your life and let me raise you, have you ever tried to change any of them? Were you successful?

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”

— Pāpā Samuel Johnson

Any habits you currently have look like a highway in your brain from one neuron to the another. And when you make a different decision, you’re creating a whole new pathway that may as well be a swing bridge in comparison. It’s weak, flimsy and definitely not up to OSH standards…

So if you were trying to get from A to B, which path would you take?

The one you know and taken a hundred times before because it’s rigid, reinforced and produces predictable results? Or the other one you’ve taken once or twice and makes you feel a little uncomfortable and unsafe?

Probably the highway, right? Our brain is only doing what it’s wired to do at its basic level — survive. Which means avoiding harm, danger and risky situations and staying in the comfort zone… where nothing ever grows, I might add.

but what is the real danger here?

Daring to live into your truth, express yourself with integrity, stand up for what you believe in and/or make your dreams come true? Or not ever experiencing life beyond the comfort zone? Uncle Martin says it better,

“You may be 38 years old, as I happen to be. And one day, some great opportunity stands before you and calls you to stand up for some great principle, some great issue, some great cause. And you refuse to do it because you are afraid…. You refuse to do it because you want to live longer…. You’re afraid that you will lose your job, or you are afraid that you will be criticized or that you will lose your popularity, or you’re afraid that somebody will stab you, or shoot at you or bomb your house; so you refuse to take the stand.

Well, you may go on and live until you are 90, but you’re just as dead at 38 as you would be at 90. And the cessation of breathing in your life is but the belated announcement of an earlier death of the spirit.”

And our tupuna say it best, before Rangi and Papa (heaven and earth) were separated, some of te ira atua (their kids), were against the plan and wanted to remain in te pō (the darkness) in somewhere familiar, predictable and safe. They live in on us today, so that tendency to stay out of harm’s way is natural and reaffirms the whakaaro around how neural pathways (habits) form in our brains.

What’s also neat about that (I hope you can tell I absolutely love this topic haha) is that over time, if we keep choosing to take the swing bridge, it starts to get reinforced and upgraded until it’s a multilane highway and the old highway gets less and less attention until it finally disappears altogether.

Just because our brain is wired a certain way doesn’t mean we can’t rewire it for a better connection and better results.

Tēnā tātou,

Hana.