Growth. It’s hard. It’s unlearning and undoing a whole lot of “truths” and beliefs about the world and about yourself. It’s becoming completely undone, stripping everything down to make way for new creativity to flourish. At least, that’s what it is and has been for me, lol holy crap..
From the outside, it looks like a highkey mess and on the inside it’s a war; with the old thoughts and emotions and reactions vs the new kids on the block, trying to implement change and embody a new set of thoughts, thought processes, feelings and the rest.. it’s te ira atua (the gods) deliberating how to separate their parents, it’s leaving Hawaiki for Aotearoa… it’s in our whakapapa (ancestry, genealogy), so of course it’s natural and will be part of what we experience in our lifetime.
I use the seed analogy a lot, when what that seed grows into is its greatest expression - not remaining the seed. Coz then it’s just unrealised, underdeveloped potential… so whether that seed grows into kai, humans, rākau (trees) or otherwise, the growth part is crucial to the seed becoming the greatest expression of itself.. ya still with me?
Committing to any change in our lives will be met with resistance, and if you’re lucky (sarcasm), not just from your ‘current/old self’ but from people around you too… our bodies are super intelligent and can pick up when something changes from the usual script. It’ll send you all the alerts and distress calls under the sun to let you know your new wake up and bed time, your more nutritious kai (food), your new behaviours - no matter how good they are for you - your body (the subconscious mind/autopilot/programmed responses based on what you’ve fed it over the years) will have a haka and make you feel bad for wanting better for yourself..
Expect the resistance, expect to go through a withdrawals and transtitioning phase where it feels and could very well look highkey messy.. physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and every other way! But draw strength from the fact that it’s repeated, successfully, in our whakapapa many times before, and since were whakapapa in action - the pattern will surely repeat.
Āku mihi ki a koutou,